If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.
Riley reminded herself that she was a professional, and stabbing Emerson with her nail file wouldn’t be appropriate.
You must be a terrible burden to your mother. I am feeling so sorry for her not to have a proper daughter.”
Mrs. Apusenja – To the Nines
Omigod. He gave you a car?”
“He said it was an investment in our working relationship. What does that mean?”
“What kind of car is it?”
“A new Porsche.”
“That’s at least oral sex.”
“Be serious!” I said.
“Okay, the truth is . . . It’s beyond oral sex. It could be, you know, butt stuff.”
“I’ll return the car.”
“Stephanie, this is a Porsche!”
“And I think he’s flirting with me, but I’m not sure.
phone and warn her I’d
I always listen,
I knew there were no such things as death cooties. Unfortunately, that’s an intellectual fact. And death cooties are an emotional reality.
Ranger hung my bag on my shoulder and looked at me. “Are you okay with all this?
The way I see it, life is a jelly doughnut. You don’t really know what it’s about until you bite into it. And then, just when you decide it’s good, you drop a big glob of jelly on your best T-shirt. My
Truth is, I think naked men are kind of strange looking what with their doodles and ding-dong hanging loose like they do. Nevertheless, there’s the curiosity thing. I guess it’s another one of those car crash experiences, where you feel compelled to look even if you know you’ll be horrified.