I realize that the decision might be simple. It will require a great act of selflessness to choose Abnegation, or a great act of courage to choose Dauntless, and maybe just choosing one over the other will prove that I belong.
Psyche you out?” I repeat. “I’m your FRIEND. I wouldn’t do that.”
He doesn’t say anything. I can tell he doesn’t believe me-not quite.
I hear something in her words that’s right, but it’s hard to believe her right now.
Fear doesn’t shut you down; it wakes you up. I’ve seen it. It’s fascinating.” He releases me but doesn’t pull away, his hand grazing my jaw, my neck. “Sometimes I just…want to see it again. Want to see you awake.
It happened. It was awful. You aren’t perfect. That’s all there is. Don’t confuse your grief with guilt.”
We stay in the silence and the loneliness of the otherwise empty dormitory for a few more minutes, and I try to let her words work themselves into me.
Pretty sure we can’t call you ‘Stiff’ anymore, Tris.
The hurts from my last day with my father are healed now, but I want to remember where they were; I want to remember what I escaped for as long as I live.
He wraps his arms around me and holds me tight for a few seconds. His
breaths tickle my ear, and I close my eyes, letting myself finally relax. He
smells like wind and sweat and soap, like Tobias and like safety.
I am proud. It will get me into trouble someday, but today it makes me brave
Looking away is submissive. Looking [..] in the eye is a challenge.