How odd, that I ruined my marriage over that little girl with whom I had nothing in common except that we both liked a good laugh and a cold beer after sex.
I felt like a punk who’d gone out to buy a switchblade and come home with a small neutron bomb.
“Screwed again”, I thought. “What good’s a neutron bomb in a streetfight?
The na at the end of banana annoys me as much as it would you if it were bananana.
If you enjoy sticking a straw in a dog’s ear, don’t sit next to the pooch with a milkshake.
Start to laugh and everything will go well.
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don’t.
I yearn to be a woman of more depth, but I’m not so fond of the path I’d need to follow to get there.
I was very strict on that point. No devouring classmates.” Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Other parents warn their kids not to talk to strangers. I had to warn mine not to eat them.
Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shpwrecked by the laughter of the gods.