According to Pia Mellody, when “one parent has a relationship with the child that is more important than the relationship he or she has with the spouse, and that parent has unresolved sexual issues, a strong possibility exists that the child will be emotionally sexually abused.
CHIEF COMPONENT The chief component in the family system is the marriage. If the marriage is healthy and functional, the family will be healthy and functional. If the marriage is dysfunctional, then the family will be dysfunctional.
The fantasy bond (really bondage) is the illusion that someone is there for them, someone who loves and protects them. The fantasy bond is like a mirage in the desert. Once set up, the denying fantasy bond functions automatically and unconsciously. Years later, when reality is no longer life-threatening, the fantasy bond remains. This explains why abandoned (abused) children are described as having a compulsion to protect their parents.
…my real love has always been the sleep that rescued me by allowing me to dream.
God doesn’t expect perfection-he wants good women who are motivated by deep love for him and who aren’t afraid to make a few mistakes along the way.
Firmly speaking the truth in love and maintaining healthy boundaries in relationships will teach most people to treat you respectfully.
But false niceness can never and will never produce an authentic, deeply meaningful relationship, just like weeds won’t magically produce zinnias.
If Moroccans are dying in Indo-China, if it rains too much or not enough, if there is no work, if one’s wife is sick and penicillin is expensive, or if the French are still in Morocco, it is all the fault of America. She could change everything if she chose, but she does nothing because she does not love the Moslems.
Yet the way she felt about Carol passed all the tests for love and fitted all the descriptions.
She tried to keep her voice steady, but it was pretense, like pretending self-control when something you loved was dead in front of your eyes. They would have to separate here.