Survivors often develop an exaggerated need for control in their adult relationships. It’s the only way they feel safe. They also struggle with commitment-saying yes in a relationship means being trapped in yet another family situation where abuse might take place. So the survivor panics as her relationship gets closer, certain that something terrible is going to happen. She pulls away, rejects, or tests her partner all the time.

God whispered, “You endured a lot. For that I am truly sorry, but grateful. I needed you to struggle to help so many. Through that process you would grow into who you have now become. Didn’t you know that I gave all my struggles to my favorite children? One only needs to look at the struggles given to your older brother Jesus to know how important you have been to me.

It is a rare person who can cut himself off from mediate and immediate relations with others for long spaces of time without undergoing a deterioration in personality.

I do not subscribe to the abuse “victim” or “survivor” mentality. I have experienced every kind of abuse imaginable and I am and always have been the most happy go-lucky, positive and life affirming person around. Your labels do not serve you, so don’t use them as an excuse to be miserable. You have a beautiful life to live, so accept the beauty and start living.

One in four girls will experience sexual abuse by the time she is sixteen, and 48 percent of all rapes involve a young woman under the age of eighteen. It’s not surprising then, that in a society where sexual abuse of young women is rampant, many women never share their stories. They remain hidden and invisible.

Changing? Aren’t we a little delusional? You’ve always been scarred and you always will be. Well you’re not really the best thinker. Why waste time trying to mend what’s broken? It’s impossible as trying to keep it from being broken in the first place. You want kids, don’t you? Abused people turn abusive, it’s a fact. Why? Becayse you love them? Didn’t I love you? But I’ve hurt you still. Love has nothing to do with being abusive. You’ve always been bruised and cut and it’s just… pointless to try and change that… now.

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