In the present case it is a little inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible to any public office of trust or profit in the Republic. But I do not repine, for I am a subject of it only by force of arms.

Ladies and gentlemen, when you paint your lips, eyes, nails, hair, side-beards, or whatever, to look beautiful or handsome, don’t forget your up stairs, if you don’t go up there to put things in order, then, consider the former attributes null and void.

Christ, back in Chicago, we don’t make bicycles any more. It’s all
human relations now. The eggheads sit around trying to figure out new
ways for everybody to be happy. Nobody can get fired, no matter what;
and if somebody does accidentally make a bicycle, the union accuses
us of cruel and inhuman practices and the government confiscates the
bicycle for back taxes and gives it to a blind man in Afghanistan.

1 2 3 5