Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like “Second Tall Man”.
You want to go out to dinner sometime?
Sorry, no. I’m married, not hungry, infected with seven unknown diseases, gay, pregnant with lizards and clinically dead.
Date rape is just plain moronic when you consider how slutty figs are
I am looking for the one I can’t fool.
WILL YOU BE BRINGING A DATE?”
“OH COME ON,” Dora said. “I’M SURE THAT YOU MUST HAVE LOTS OF BOYFRIENDS– AND GIRLFRIENDS…”
I nod my head no and explain that my sex life is complicated.
“HOW SO?” Tommy asked.
“MY BOYFRIEND’S STRAIGHT.”
“OH. WOW,” Dora said. “MINE TOO.”
Dating is like a game. If someone feels like they have won us over too easily, they won’t see our value and will go elsewhere to find something they have to work a little bit harder for.
This is one rule about mixing boys and girls: that a date always comes first.
A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called her, begging her forgiveness and giving some excuse. She told him to get lost, telling him that he only gets one shot with her, and he blew it.
Thanks for driving me home, Mason. And for dinner. And…everything.
A newspaper is an oversized book with adverts and an expiry date.