If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?
Quotes on funny
I had a dream about you. At first you were a mannequin, and I was a fashion designer. Then, inexplicably, we switched roles and I became the mannequin. But instead of putting clothes on me, you laughed at my nakedness, and you sold me to the owner of a sex shop.
Whenever He answers prayers, God usually prioritizes those by people who, instead of their mouths, have prayed with their hands and/or feet.
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
It’s not that I can’t express myself,
it’s that I still feel present when I’m not expressing myself.
For if it is rash to walk into a lion’s den unarmed, rash to navigate the Atlantic in a rowing boat, rash to stand on one foot on top of St. Paul’s, it is still more rash to go home alone with a poet.
Go slowly, so that you do not bite your tail by accident.
Ah, damn it, lass,’he called after her. ‘I’ve busted my stitches wide open.’
‘What?’she cried, hurrying back to him. ‘Let me see!’
‘Ah-ha!’ He snared her around the waist, dragging her down with him to his lap.’You still care for me!
Fenchurch had red mullet and said it was delicious.
Arthur had a swordfish steak and said it made him angry. He grabbed a passing waitress by the arm and berated her.
“Why’s this fish so bloody good?
I had a fucking standing ovation going on in my goddamn pants, and it was demanding an encore.