Blood is thicker than water, but they still use corn starch as a thickener on cooking shows
I had a dream about you last night.
We moved into a cabin in the countryside.
I couldn’t handle the spiders.
You couldn’t handle my drama.
I moved back to the city.
It’s four A.M.! Who goes to bed this early!?
Ladies pick funny things to be proud of.
A true friend doesn’t have guts; they beat you up and later plead with you to beat them back.
Oh, so your middle finger has a mind of its own then?” Alex asked with an amused look.
I glared at him and said, “Yeah, and she was just sticking up for me
[When asked what he wants for his tombstone epitaph]
Since I’m an atheist, and have no belief whatsoever in life after death, I couldn’t care less — it’s not like it’ll have any impact on me, since by definition I will be completely extinguished. I guess if someone twisted my arm and forced me to provide an epitaph, it would be ‘Don’t forget.’ Sound advice…
I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed.
Maggie wasn’t without her concerns, though. “What if he’s crazy?”
“Yeah, that’s a definite possibility,” he agreed.
“What if he’s not your type?”
“Then we’ll only hook up in dark places.
Women were created gullible. It they weren’t no babies would be born.