Whenever He answers prayers, God usually prioritizes those by people who, instead of their mouths, have prayed with their hands and/or feet.
Death would be an extremely bad thing like most of us paint it, if being dead were painful.
You! You tricked me! I never want to see you or that bottle of liquid arsenic again!
The point is, if we find out you’ve been horrible to Harry –
Most people who are would each not be in love with their partner, if they did not have the kind of genitals they have.
(…) Trying to think of how to take the least crowded ways to class, so the least amount of people will stare at the hole in my neck. Sometimes it feels like it has a beacon in it, flashing for the entire world to see, except it’s not cool like the Bat signal.
because daytime leaves vampires less than, well, conscious, I told him, “Take your muffins to Boston and shut it, Terrance.
Do you have nicknames for any of your other brothers?”
The youngster squinted his dark gray eyes in concentration. “Well, Tristan is Dare, and sometimes he’s Tris; and Bradshaw is Shaw; and sometimes we call Andrew, Drew, but he doesn’t like that very much.”
“He says it’s a girls’ name, and then Shaw calls him Drusilla.
Oh man, Alex. That’s sad. Seriously, mate, go get yourself laid.”
“What?” He gave Baldrick a quick kiss on his little head–he didn’t care how stupid he looked, he loved his ugly cat–and put him down on his kitty bed in the corner.
“Isn’t that what single sad people do–get cats when they’ve given up on human companionship?
How much of my fever-induced dream was real? I felt safe assuming that my time as a bee was fiction, as well as a few mythological animals that I swear I’d seen. Then I’d lived on the sun with aliens.