The na at the end of banana annoys me as much as it would you if it were bananana.
If you enjoy sticking a straw in a dog’s ear, don’t sit next to the pooch with a milkshake.
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don’t.
I yearn to be a woman of more depth, but I’m not so fond of the path I’d need to follow to get there.
Welcome to the fascinating world of the undead! Please use this guidebook as a
handy reference as you make your first steps toward eternity. Inside you will find
information on vampire nutrition, relationships, and safety. But before learning
about your future, a word about our past…
-From The Guide for the Newly Undead
Just like when there’s a time that a smart person knows enough is enough, there’s a time when you know you’ve got to fight.
I also read about Heathcliff’s unexpected three-year career in Hollywood under the name Buck Stallion and his eventual return to the pages of Wuthering Heights.
I know a lot about birds and bees, but I don’t know very much about the birds and the bees. Everything I do know I had to teach myself on the Internet, because I don’t have anyone to ask. For example, I know that you give someone a blowjob by putting your penis in their mouth.
No one is sent by accident to anyone.