I spread eggshells all over my room, so anyone who tries to get close when I sleep will know what they’re walking on
There is a perfect marriage. Any marriage counselor can tell you that.
I love Naples, Florida! Although, I’m so far behind everyone else there. After all, I’m still wearing my first face!
Wisdom of the Ages: “Hillary” Has replaced the term “battle-axe” to describe an undesirable mother-in-law in 37 languages.
It looks like two alpacas fucking, mostly,” he said apologetically. “Of course, sometimes, the boy can’t get his boy parts past the girl’s furry ass, and he needs a little help, so then it looks like two alpacas fucking while their handler’s giving the one on top a handjob.
They say you can judge a person by their book, but I say they will hide under the covers.
You should see the murderous stares I get on the street. Though I think that has less to do with seeing a man carrying a purse and more to do with paisley. Paisley makes everyone cranky.
Why do I write? Because I like telling stories and I don’t like repeating myself (insert chuckle here).
I am apparently the complete opposite of a sociopath. (Seriously. I took a test.) WHEW! #dodgedabullet
If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores.