Never trust a species that grins all the time. It’s up to something.
Quotes on humour
What’s it like to be a living legend? A lot fucking better than being a dead one…”
Geordie Selwyn, Appetite for Corruption
Because ‘You’re perfect just the way you are,’ is what your guidance counselor says. And she’s an alcoholic.
Darling, whose book is this to be?”
“Ostensibly yours, my sweet”
“I see — rather like my life since I met you?”
He was a poet who sometimes taught Free University classes or travelled in the western states of Utah, Nevada, and Arizona, speaking to high school English classes, stunning middle-class boys and girls (he hoped) with the news that poetry was alive-narcoleptic, to be sure, but still possessed of a certain hideous vitality.
Come on! If Harry can destroy the horcruxes, Frodo can destroy the ring and Percy can defeat Kronos, you can get out of bed!
Whenever a woman tries to put you out of temper, turn the tables, and put HER out of temper instead. They are generally prepared for every effort you can make in your own defence, but that. One word does it as well as a hundred; and one word did it with Limping Lucy. I looked her pleasantly in the face; and I said-“Pooh!
With him big Phil from Notting Hill an old “face” from the sixties a pin up gangster with a “mars bar” weal scraping his left cheek and of course two “wag” slags in tow trussed up like French Poodles with “Bratz babe” stares and Gucci Handbags
Yo Mama’s so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said, “Sorry, no professionals.
I have always been homosexual and it surprises me that more people are not; women’s pink bits are moist and forbidding and I enjoy those qualities much more in a Victoria sponge.