Whenever He answers prayers, God usually prioritizes those by people who, instead of their mouths, have prayed with their hands and/or feet.
Death would be an extremely bad thing like most of us paint it, if being dead were painful.
Most people who are would each not be in love with their partner, if they did not have the kind of genitals they have.
It’s just that I was thinking you don’t ride in that truck of yours, you wear it.
Yo Mama’s so old, her memory is in black and white.
Being HIV positive doesn’t necessarily mean that you are going to die before each and every person who is HIV negative.
When we perceive aliens as a joke to be laughed at,
they feel so pity for us on the success of their plans.
Atoms are round balls of wood invented by Dr. Dalton.
(Answer given by a pupil to a question on atomic theory, as reported by Sir Henry Enfield Roscoe.)
There’s a joke about the balloon boy who has a balloon mum and a balloon dad and he goes to a balloon school with balloon friends ad a balloon principal. And one day, the balloon boy decides to take a pin to his balloon school, which is, of course, a disaster. And he’s called into the balloon principal’s office, and the balloon principal tells him, ‘You’ve let me down, you’ve let your school down, you’ve let your parents down, you’ve let your friends down. But most importantly you’ve let yourself down’.
Joke ’em if they can’t take a fuck.