I swear that each of us keeps, battened down inside himself, a sort of lunatic giant – impossible socially, but full-scale – and that it’s the knockings and baterrings we sometimes hear in each other that keeps our intercourse from utter banaility.
What frightened me most was, I could no longer believe in my own life as a story. Everyone needs a story, a part to play in order to avoid the realization that life is without significance. How else do any of us survive? It’s what makes life bearable, even interesting. When it becomes neither, people say you’ve lost the plot. Or just lost it.
At the edge of madness you howl diamonds and pearls.
precious laughing time is wasted, because I have to put up with Satan’s stupid minions who smile without attempting to anger somebody else – leave us alone already.
I turned to Dionysus. “You cured him?”
“Madness is my specialty. It was quite simple.”
“But…you did something nice. Why?”
He raised and eyebrow. “I am nice! I simple ooze niceness, Perry Johansson. Haven’t you noticed?
Ever see moors murderer Ian Brady, study his photos, study Black, study Cannon, study Sutcliffe – study them all! Who says evil is not recognisable?
That night I slept badly, thrashing about in my bed, not quite asleep and not quite awake. At times I had the feeling there was someone else in my bedroom who was talking to me, but of course I could not deal with this perception in any realistic way, since I was half-asleep and half-awake, and thus, for all practical purposes, I was out of my mind.
I got both hands on her throat and there was nothing inside me but the black madness of that desire to kill her, to close my hands until she turned purple and lay still and there’d be an end to her forever. Let them send me to the chair. Let ’em burn me. All they could do was kill me.
To remain sane in a mad world is the true victory.
Find beauty in the madness.