It cannot be done all at once. To overpower vertigo – the keeper of the abyss- one must tame it, cautiously.
Was she happy? She thought – yes, reasonably so. Then again, what was happiness but the vast terrain between ecstasy and agony? Was this too small an ambition?
Vulgar of manner, overfed,
Overdressed and underbred;
Heartless, Godless, hell’s delight,
Rude by day and lewd by night…
Crazed with avarice, lust and rum,
New York, thy name’s delirium.
Keep moving. Your next big thing may be just around the corner.
New York is a different country. Maybe it ought to have a separate government. Everybody thinks differently, they just don’t know what the hell the rest of the United States is.
Was happiness (which was perhaps achieved not by getting what you wanted, but rather, by obtaining what you didn’t know you wished for until it was in hand) a hologram that would continually change appearance with the slightest shift of perspective? Or maybe happiness by definition was a temporary state of being recognizable only in hindsight. It was impossible to catch what always managed to be overrun and end up in the rear view mirror.
I had always been warned that American didn’t always get sarcasm
I said, “It really didn’t feel like a choice. Where else is there to go?
I wanted solitude, but a treasure like that didn’t exist in the city. I only found silence in Central Park, still littered with people of course, but the only place that held moments of calm. I breathed in that wonderful silence as my pace finally slowed, and nature delighted my senses.
Not even a cat was out. The rain surged down with a steady drone. It meant to harm New York and everyone there. The gutters could not contain it. Long ago they had despaired of the job and surrendered. But the rain paid no attention to them… New York people never lived in houses or even in burrows. They inhabited cells in stone cliffs. They timed the cooking of their eggs by the nearest traffic light. If the light went wrong, so did the eggs…