Don’t say to yourself, ‘Everyone argues!’ to justify and normalise your fighting, when the most natural thing is to love.

Listen, Harriet. I do unterstand. I know you don’t want either to give or to take … You don’t want ever again to have to depend for happiness on another person.”

“That’s true. That’s the truest thing you ever said.”

“All right. I can respect that. Only you’ve got to play the game. Don’t force an emotional situation and then blame me for it.”

“But I don’t want any situation. I want to be left in peace.

A deep breath is a technique with which we minimize the number of instances where we say what we do not mean … or what we really think.