Everyone needs a place to be honest.
Dad thinks I’m ready to fly around the country as the Ambassador of Hope, but Mom thinks I’m a frail little bird with broken wings.
And now they’re telling me I have to get rid of the only thing that loosens its grip. That’s the irony, isn’t it? … The thing that helped has become the thing that imprisons us. We keep feeding it and it keeps wanting more. This is a disease that tries to convince you that you don’t have it. This is a disease where the medicine that gives relief is the same thing that kills you.
Living like an empty shell is not really living, no matter how many years it might go on
There are two ways of thinking. One is living life based on fear. The other is trusting. Letting go and allowing trust to control our lives takes mental gymnastics.
You deserve this. Even when you feel like you don’t. You do. You deserve to have a healthy, loving, grace-filled relationship with yourself. You deserve to stop hurting in secret and in shame. You deserve to fully experience life. You deserve to be heard and helped. You deserve everything the negative voices have told you you don’t.
Just because you may live your life in recovery, surely doesn’t mean the PARTY IS OVER, Nope!, it just means you can remember what you DID LAST NIGHT!”.LOL
When life beats us down, we often do not feel worthwhile to ourselves nor to anyone else. Often, we try to hide our feelings of inadequacy in pursuit of perfection, which develops into self-loathing. If only we can be perfect, then we can be okay.
My friend Bailey is looking at me with tears in her eyes and a smile of pure joy. She sees me, the real me, not the broken little bird that my mother sees, or the Ambassador of Hope that my father sees, or the girl who was stupid enough to walk off with a stranger and ruin everyone’s lives that my sister sees. Bailey sees me as I want to be: a normal, non-newsworthy, non-broken, non-victimized sixteen-year-old girl.
When we leave this life, we only get to take two things: the love we received and the lessons we learned.